But you make beautiful things...

I am currently obsessed with this song, Beautiful Things by Gungor. Here are the lyrics:

All this pain

I wonder if I’ll ever find my way

I wonder if my life could really change at all

All this earth

Could all that is lost ever be found

Could a garden come up from this ground at all

You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of the dust

You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of us

All around

Hope is springing up from this old ground

Out of chaos life is being found in You

You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of the dust

You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of us

You make me new, You are making me new

You make me new, You are making me new

You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of the dust

You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of us

I know that when you are saved you die to your sins and are "born again". I've been told this my entire life. First of all, I think I have done a crappy job of being renewed into the person the Lord desires me to be. I know that I am constantly growing and I pray that I never go back to the person I was 4 years ago. Shoot, I pray I never go back to the person I was a week ago. I hope I am constantly growing. I hope I am constantly changing. I hope I am on the track to becoming the woman of God I was designed to be. Second of all, it is difficult for me to look at the sin in my life and see myself as a beautiful creation God made. In the song it says, "You make beautiful things out of the dust". How does the Lord allow a garden to grow from the dust that I am? It's a question I have yet to figure out, but I am praying that the Lord changes me. I am praying that the Lord hears my desire to be selfless, gentle, loving, forgiving, joyful. I am praying that the Lord can make a garden grow from this dust. 

But today is the day...

I think one of my biggest struggles is looking towards the future. Note: when I say "looking towards" part of me means "worrying about". My life is going to drastically change in 4.5 months. I am going to be a wife, have a husband, live with a boy, sleep with a boy (whoop), begin my own family... the list can go on. I am getting married in a few months! How can I NOT look forward to that?! Im sure you are saying to yourself "well thats understandable", at least thats what I told myself at first. 

Once I took a look at what the bible says I realized I am sadly failing at life. Matthew 6:34 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own" and along those lines V33 "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well". It is not easy for me to wake up saying instead of just watching time tick away and surviving this semester, I need to actually LIVE in the here and now! To be honest, my heart is ready for the future. I am ready to have a husband I can wake up to and begin our family. Unfortunately, my readiness for the future needs to take back seat to my duties of today. So that is what I am going to be working on! (words of wisdom are freely accepted)

And He wants me...

"I want you to show love, not offer sacrifices. I want you to know me more than I want burnt offerings." 

-Jesus [Hosea 6:6]