And your beloved needs you now...

I have felt kind of lonely in College Station lately. Its just not the same without your best friends, you know? I mean don't get me wrong I enjoy the friends that are here but its something about walking into your living room and talking to your roommates about your day and them knowing everything you have been going through. Instead, I walk into a lonely house that still needs a lot of unpacking. Anyways, I am reading this book called "Jesus Wants to Save Christians". I came to a part in the book that asks the question "What are the moments that have shaped you the most". Then it goes on to say its periods of transformation, when your eyes are opened, when you're forced to cry out to the Lord because you're at the end of your rope, that you typically grow the most. Gosh, its so true. I mean lets take a look at my life. The first thing that pops up is changing churches right before 9th grade year, I learned a lot about the politics of the church and what a church family should look like. Then, I think about not making officer for my dance line the first time I tried out. Had I made it the first ear I guarantee my ego and pride would've made me a horrible leader but instead the humility prepared me for the next year when I did make it. Then, I think about all of the relationships in my life that never worked out. Though, it was not fun going through break ups or losing friends, I learned something about myself from all of them. The book states "For many people, it was their cry, their depression, their acknowledgment of their oppression, that was the beginning of their liberation. When we're on top, when the system works for us, when we are capable of managing our lives, what is there for God to do?" I have somehow convinced myself it is possible for me to be in control of my life. What a joke right? And though, I am not thanking Him now, I know I will thank our God soon, because what he has in store for me is far greater than my imagination. Right now is tough, right now I am struggling, right now I just wish one of my girls were in College Station and knew what was going on in my life, but I know my God is drawing me nearer and I trust that this is a growing time for me. So, I cry out to my Creator.