And I am without an umbrella..

I have felt down for a while now. During the school things were easier because I could distract myself with my friends and ASC and work and everything fun in my life. Then, summer came and I found myself standing in the rain (not literally). I have talked about it before, how I am really bad about depending on God and giving everything to him. I am a woman of little faith. This obviously isn't something I want to be but I just find that there are times where I am on fire for christ and times where I am just cold. I admit it, since this summer has begun I have been cold. I have been so frustrated because I feel like I am fighting so many battles and they never stop. I feel like I am standing out in the rain soak and wet sobbing. My pride and my natural habit to focus on worldly things has put me on mute. I don't cry out to my God during this storm because I have lost sight of the faithfulness of my Father. I don't know if anyone really reads this blog because I know I ramble a lot, but if you do I ask for your prayers. I so desperately want and need to be captivated again. I want to be back at the place where my life is solely dependent on my gracious, loving Father.

She never slows down.

She doesn't know why but she knows that when she's all alone, feels like its all coming down

She won't turn around

The shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear, the tears will not stop raining down

So stand in the rain

Stand your ground

Stand up when it's all crashing down

You stand through the pain

You won't drown

And one day, whats lost can be found

You stand in the rain

She won't make a sound

Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she'll fall down

She wants to be found

The only way out is through everything she's running from wants to give up and lie down.

So stand in the rain

Stand your ground

Stand up when it's all crashing down

You stand through the pain

You won't drown

And one day, whats lost can be found

You stand in the rain

So stand in the rain

Stand your ground

Stand up when it's all crashing down

Stand through the pain

You won't drown

And one day, whats lost can be found

[Stand in the Rain by Superchick]

Lord, allow me to feel your warmth and see you at work in my life. Get me back to the place where I am a vessel, not distracted by worldly things, ready to be filled up by you and poured out on your people. While I wait for you to return, I want to be devoted to furthering your kingdom. Allow my heart not to be consumed by this world but broken for it. Give me your passion, as you have so graciously given me life. -Your daughter of little faith, who is searching for you.