Warning: these are MY true feelings, if you don't want to hear them stop now. I understand they are not your opinions and I don't claim to agree with your every thought. My views are my own.
You know those days when you just wish someone understood. I get the impression a lot of people don't understand my feelings towards marriage and engagement and such. When I talk about being ready for marriage people chuckle and tell me hold my horses it will come soon enough. I realize I am impatient and I realize everyone knows I am impatient. Marriage is the one thing I have been waiting for since like 7th grade. This is what I have been called to do. While people are enjoying their majors and starting their careers I am waiting (often times impatiently). I do not really care about my major or a career. Society tells us that we need to go to college and have a good career and help support our families. My heart tells me to be a good wife, to love, and to live in a way that will please the Lord. I read part of this book called "Just Do Something" by Kevin DeYoung and there is a chapter about marriage, occupations, and God's will. He talks about how we so often find ourselves waiting for the perfect timing, the perfect person, the perfect job or the perfect place to live. He says we wait and wait and wait when we should be making decisions and living a life of righteousness. One of my favorite statements is "Let's not spiritualize our inability to make decisions in the quest to discover God's will." Amen Kevin DeYoung. Thank you for this statement. He goes on to say later that too often young women are forced to get a career and put their energy into a career that they do not want. Thank you for understanding the heart of women, and more so for understanding me! I am not crazy. I know that the Lord is calling me to this and though my friends and boy friend think I am crazy because I cant wait, I know my heart. I also know my feelings are important and aren't something I need to shrug off because society tells me to get a career. Society can shove it because I am following the calling of my Lord and while I wait (because I cant propose to myself) I will continue to be relational and intentional with the people I meet.
I can honestly say that I DO understand! That has been my goal, I have always wanted to love someone with everything and be a good wife. I love doing things for Brian for the mere fact that it is wifely. When you are ready you are ready.
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